Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
