Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
