There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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