That's intense
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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