They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
