Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
