theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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