I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize