Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
