She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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