Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so explain again why im purple
no
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
