I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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