No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
