I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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