ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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