I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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