: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we're making bets on your personal life
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
