I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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