1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize