absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
