Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
