I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
