We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
