A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
