You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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