I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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