haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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