Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
