Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
