2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
