She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just had sex bonerless
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize