It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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