remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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