And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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