This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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