Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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