I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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