I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
