I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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