96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
