After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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