just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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