I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
