Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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