we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
