is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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