I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize