You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize