Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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