Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
