Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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