Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
