Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize