Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
