I wish my penis had an off switch
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
