Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
