i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry about my life...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
