She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
