I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
