He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
