Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
