plz talk dirty to me
honey bunches of taint.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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